“If you could just believe that Tom dove into a burning car at the last minute to pull out a family of five, that would be great,” Maria Telavino told journalists at a press conference today.
“And if you could imagine him using his incredibly long limbs to unhook the seatbelts and maybe him giving mouth to mouth to a couple of the family members, in a very heterosexual way, that would be perfect.”
It’s not the first time Telavino has asked us to believe Cruise had done something incredibly brave, tall and heterosexual.
Last year, she told us to believe that Cruise had won the NBA Championships, by himself, despite being 45 down to the Lakers in the first quarter.
Final score: Lakers 45 – Cruise 206.
And the year before that, we were requested to accept that while on holiday, Cruise had impregnated a dangerous tribe of Amazonian giantesses.
And that each giantess was now expecting twins.